Know your stars,Fullmetal Alchemist style!
by Demograph
Summary: The classic Know your Stars fanfiction. With your favorite Fullmetal Alchemist characters involved!
1. Edward Elric

NC Ace: Please excuse the character bashing. I was chatting with some friends of mine and we came up with this, and found it amusing, so I offered to convert it into a fanfiction. I do not take full credit for this story. Half of it goes to my good friend Spiz, who does not have an account of Sorry it's so short too. It's just...well, it's kind of hardmaking this sort of story hard eh?

Disclaimer: I do not own Know Your Stars from All That, and I do not own the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist used here.

Know Your Stars-Fullmetal Alchemist style!

"Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...Edward Elric...Doesn't know the meaning of Alchemy..."

"Wha-? Yeah I do! It's the science of understanding, decomposing, and reconstructing materials!" The shorter-than-his-age alchemist protested...

"Edward Elric...he doesn't know that no one cares about the definition of alchemy..."

"What? What about the other alchemists out there?" He yelled.

"In fact...He doesn't know much considering the fact that he is still in pre-school..."

"What? I'm not in pre-school! And HA! YOU SPELLED PRE-SCHOOL WRONG!"

"No I didn't..."

"...SO?" Edward proclaimed, just realizing his mistake.

"Edward Elric...is so short he is considered a micro organism...""MICRO ORGANISM? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN THAT CAN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT THE MOST ADVANCED TELESCOPE IN THE WORLD!" Being called short and all, Edward jumped out of his seat, shaking a fist.

"Edward Elric...wears platform shoes to look taller, but looks short anyway..."

"PLATFORM SHOES? WHY I OUGHT--"

"Edward Elric...his girlfriend is Winry Rockbell..."

"WHAT! THAT CRAZY PSYCHO MECHANIC?"

"What did you call me?" The blonde with corn colored hair grumbled, with a wrench in her hand.

"Edward Elric...called you fat."

With a loud clonk, her dense, hard, metal wrench came crashing down on Ed's head. Crossing her arms, Winry left with a huff.

"Now you know...Edward Elric..."

Soon, when the studio was closed, and the lights were being turned off, Edward lay there, unconscious.


	2. Roy Mustang

NC Ace: There is cussing in this fanfiction, so don't sayI didn't warn you! And...there's a lot of character((Roy)) bashing in this one so...if any Roy Fans see this, I appologize. There was a lot of Ed Bashing...

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, and I do not own All That's Know Your Stars

* * *

Know your stars Fullmetal Alchemist style! 

"Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...Roy Mustang...is a water alchemist...

"Water alchemist? I am no water alchemist! I shall show you!" Roy said, with a tone very similar to Armstrong's. He pulled his gloves out of his pocket.

"Sir...you'll burn this whole place down..." Riza protested from the shadows. It seemed as if where ever Roy went, Riza went too.

"Roy Mustang...his real name is Thomas...Rouss..."

"THOMAS ROUSS? THAT PERVERT?" Roy yelled, now out of his seat.

"Sir...you want all the female personal of the military to wear mini skirts...most would consider that perverted..." Riza added.

"Roy Mustang...i-AHH! HE SET ME ON FIRE! HOW DOES HE KNOW WHERE I AM? GET ME A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! AHHH!"

Roy sat there, smug, with a smirk on his face.

"I SAID GET ME A DAMNED FIRE EXTINGUISHER! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!"

"Muahahahaha...I SHALL SOON RULE THE WORLD! WITH MY AWESOMLY MANLY FIRE POWERS! AND MINI SKIRTS! ALL WOMEN SHALL WEAR MINI SKIRTS!" Roy yelled, jumping out of his seat yet again.

"Sir. If you like skirts so much, why don't you wear them yourself? Instead of putting women who are probably ten times smarter than you through that embarrassment?" Riza grumbled.

* * *

NC Ace: In this chapter, my friend played the Mystery Dude, and I played Roy and Riza. So she came up with that comment of Thomas Rouss. He's a perverted creep at our school. 

**Phoenix of the Sea**: Thanks for the comment. It seems as if a lot of people don't read Know Your Stars fanfictions much anymore. Well I read one a few days ago, and it just had lame jokes. Thanks again.


	3. Winry Rockbell

oO;; I got good reviews...for being funny. That's just down right scary. But once again. All the credit doesn't go to me. Half of it was done by my good friend.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or All that's Know your Stars. If I did own the FMA characters, they'd be tortured more than this...

Ah yes. If there are really stupid mistakes, or if the pen names aren't in bold, it's 'cause this computer is making it so I can not edit it on Fanfiction. Sorry!

**Phoenix of the Sea: **Thank you for being my first reviewer! -starts repeatedly slapping you on the back-

**Everto Angelus: **Thanks!

**Maylin-Chan: **I shall get to Riza soon! And I will continue writing these with Spiz! They're enjoyable and amusing.

**HM-Babe:** We're afraid to do it with Al. If we did and stayed in character...we'd end up looking like bullies. And that's not good...

**barebu gasu kedes: **Chapter two was funny. Even for me. But I like the "MICRO ORGANISM? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN THAT CAN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT THE MOST ADVANCED TELESCOPE IN THE WORLD!" Part of chapter one. :D

**Sasameyuki: **I shall update! Once I can get Spiz on long enough to write one...well, here's the next one to keep you satisfied!

**MoonCresentFox: **I'm glad you thought it was funny!

**Winry the Alchemist: **Ed has called Winry a Loser Machine Junky...and she called him an Alchemy freak right back. So I just took the concept!

**Vlkodlas: **-pokes dead body- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

**LP Alchemist: **Yup sometimes...I don't know if you like it, but I do not, absolutely do not like the Envy/Ed, or Roy/Ed, or any Shonen-ai parings I seen on Fanfiction!

**Freanch-fri-freak: **Ow. I will update! JUST DON'T HURT ME!

**The Voice Alchemist: **Thanks! I updated! See! -pokes chapter-

**Kitsune Freak: **Same here! Maybe that's where the ideas come from...my... 'disturbing' visions eh? Ah, the mystery dude lived. Much to the dismay of Ed, Roy, and everyone else tortured.

**Genkai-chan: **Ah, a Roy fan eh? And Armstrong...hm...We were going to do Scar next...but we'll think about it.

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Know Your Stars...Fullmetal Alchemist style!

15 minutes before the show starts...

Winry Rockbell walked into the backroom to find Edward still unconscious and Roy muttering something about World Domination and mini skirts.

"I don't like the way this looks..."

"Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...Winry Rockbell...is a man in disguise..."

"A man? Where did you get that idea?"

"Winry Rockbell...would love to date Roy Mustang, for him, she'd wear a mini skirt..."

Yet before Winry could protest, some random person part of the Crew went up to the Mystery Dude.

"Uh...Winry already wears mini skirts...a lot."

"Yeah...she should be careful when she leans down to get something...especially with a guy behind her..." Edward said somewhere near the director's seat. He managed to gain consciousness a few minutes after the show had started.

With her face bright red, she threw a wrench that she always carried around with her at Ed, knocking the poor guy out again.

"Okay then...but does she date Roy Mustang?" The mystery dude proclaimed.

"Uh...yeah..." the Random Person part of the Crew replied.

"No she doesn't! I watch the show---cough- Winry Rockbell...dates Roy Mustang..."

Riza, for some reason looking pissed, walked on stage and clearly knocked Winry out with a stack of books. "This show is over."

"No it isn't...Riza Haw-"

Riza...well...Grabbed an encyclopedia, and threw it at the Mystery Dude. How did she know where he was? Who knows...


	4. Scar

NC Ace: Okay, it's really late at night and I'm very sleepy, but I managed to drag my sorry lazy ass to the computer, and started typing. So I'm not sure this one came out so good. Spiz did help me with the jokes, so yeah. They're not very good I admit because we're both half dead. But. This and the next chapters, are kind of insane. I hope I'll get better jokes next time. x.X Forgive me for this short chapter. I'll release the next chapter as soon as I can.

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"Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...hey wait--where's the vict-I mean star?"

"What? He's not there?" The director screamed, jumping out of her seat.

"Uh well...the last people we sent after him got their heads exploded inside out." The cameraman shrugged.

"So he heard of this trap..."

"What?"

"Nothing! Just get him in here!"

---

"Ah...Here we go...Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...Scar...hey wait as second. What's his last name? It's not revealed is it...Uh...Scar Watchamacallit...hasn't graduated from Kindergarten..."

"Watchamacallit? Kindergarten? I don't believe there's any 'kindergarten' around here." The quiet ishbalan muttered, sitting casually in the seat. ((I don't think there were any seperate kindergarten classes back then. Was there?))

"Scar Watchamacallit...in fact...he's not a real ishbalan...he's just a little guinea pig in disguise..."

"Guinea pig? Is there such thing?" ((I don't think guinea pigs exhisted back then either. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.))

The mystery dude coughed loudly in annoyance. "Scar Watchamacallit...is secretly devoted to the christian religion..."

"I rightfully belong to the god of Ishbala." He replied smartly.

"Scar Watchamacallit...is a crazy lunatic in need of dire attention..."

"I believe that one who speaks of pigs is the lunatic."

"AUGH! NOTHING GETS TO HIM! I'M GOING CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!" The mystery dude screamed, slamming the back stage door and darting for the nearest doughnut store.

"May god have mercy on him..." Scar silently whispered, getting up and leaving the stage.


End file.
